The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
