Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
