the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
