If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
