How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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