I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
