Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize