Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
