420 ftw
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
