My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
