You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
