beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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