It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
