I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
