there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
