Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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