Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
