we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
