So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize