Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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