So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
