Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
