YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
