I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
