I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize