Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
