why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
