he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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