My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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