To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
