this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
