Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
