Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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