I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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