my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
