Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
