she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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