I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
