I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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