i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
