The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Less talking, more tequila
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
