**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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