My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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