I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you will always have a special place in my vag
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
