I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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