I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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