So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
