I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
