I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
