so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
