The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
