I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
