Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
