my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
