i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The adults are the big ones right?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
