I queefed so loud it echoed.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
