I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize