just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
