I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
