i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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