the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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