he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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