Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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