I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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