You made me cry and you don't even care
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
